You have the right to remain silent - how to listen.
Aaah, yes. Listening. The sounds of silence and all that. If we can only open ourselves up to the universe then all will be revealed.
It is has been said, oh so many times, that relationships will get better when men learn how to listen. But – weirdly - it has never been said that relationships will get better when women learn how to shutup.
Women don’t want advice or interruptions. Not for them any examples of manly can-do let-me-fix-it-for-you-missy. No solutions or offers of help. What they want is for you to stand there (fiddling away with something domestic at the same time), making eye contact, with a serious-concerned-yet-not-judgemental expression and say things like “oh dear” or “you must have felt aaaawful” while positively oozing buckets of empathy. This can go on for a very, very long time.
Think of it as an investment in the rest of the evening. The best technique is to encourage her to talk fifteen minutes before her favourite TV show. It’s amazing how she can give you the Condensed Books version when there is a deadline that is important to her.
This isn’t all bad, though. If you think about it, this listening malarky actually takes the pressure off. We don’t have to solve anything. We can stop the hard task of scrambling the little grey cells into action looking for solutions. We just need to nod in the right places, make the appropriate empathetic cooing sounds and let the feel good sexy times begin.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment