Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My mama told me...

My mother told me to learn how to cook. She taught all five of us. With three boys, two girls, a farm and a husband who was away a lot trying to earn a living on the road - why does my life suddenly sound like a Country & Western tune? - she needed all the help she could get. She was also a pragmatist - soft and caring, but only to a point. She knew that she needed us to pull our weight. But, she also understood that we needed to be self-reliant.
So in between shooting things, blowing stuff up, racing around like a galoot, lighting my own farts (or watching my siblings light theirs), being a ratbag - an idiot - a yeehaw - I, we all, learnt how to sew on a button or mend a sock. We were instructed in the fine arts of washing our clothes and hanging them on the line. We could whip up a meal out of a near empty fridge. We could drive a car in an emergency. We could change our younger brother's nappy and burp him after a feed. She taught us how to listen and how to argue.
She taught me enough to know that when I entered into a relationship, I knew I didn't need a mother. I needed a lover, a friend, a co-conspirator in life.
Being self-reliant is the best thing she ever taught me.
The thing she never taught me was how many women would resent the very idea.

2 comments:

Greg said...

Wow, I've just read all six, very cool!!! In my house I have a 9 year old
> daughter a 19 year old daughter and a 45 year old wife! And let me tell
> you, I'm Husband to all three of them ( obviously only in a sexual manner
> to the 45 year old )! After reading your Blog I've just realised that the
> two youngest females have been unintentionally programmed by the older of
> their species, and here I was thinking that daddies little angels were just
> strong willed!!! What a fool I have been!!! From today onwards, I will set
> about de-programming the little misses, in hope that I may be able to save
> some poor sap from walking down the same misserable path I trudge every
> day!!! lol. Let me ask you this, why do woman always feel the best time to
> have an emotional conversation is about half an hour after you've both gone
> to bed???
>
> All jokes aside, what you've written is all very true, any man, scratch
> that, any family man will be able to identify with what you are saying! (
> God save us all!!! )
>
> On another note, you bear an uncanny likeness to Jimmy Barnes in that
> photo, did you know that?

tuk tuk said...

good point. great blog. the woman i am with claims that one of the reasons she is attracted to me is that i can cook. like you, I am also completely independent - thanks mum.

the thing is, if we have a dinner party, for her it becomes all about the food - for me it's all about the fun.

she has been trained to base her self worth in her cooking. as a result, when i cook well, she feels threatened. if her food is not perfect she feels hopeless.

drives me nuts. so i'm desirable for being a capable cook. when I cook too capably I threaten her. impossible.